It's not yet 7:30am and I'm watching Timmy Time. Has anyone else ever suffered through this TV show? It is the worst. I'm not even watching it either, it's just on in the background and it's still torture. The sheep don't even speak, they just make these annoying noises and it's almost like fingernails on a blackboard. I shouldn't complain, Max suddenly loves it and he's sitting watching it quietly while he eats his breakfast.
As I sit here though (ABC Kids blasting), still not quite awake and sipping on my first precious cup of coffee I'm considering going out to the shops with the two boys. I don't often take them both out at the one time, especially to the shops but sadly I have to today. I can't avoid grocery shopping anymore. We need to eat. Also I noticed, Max's feet hanging over the back of his only pair of sandals so I also need to buy him shoes.
For those of you sitting there thinking, what's the big deal? You seem to go out all the time. How hard can it be? Well yes I do go out because I'm somewhat insane but how hard can it be?
Firstly, I have a double pram that I'm pretty sure weighs almost 10kg on its own. It's very useful but so heavy and YOU try taking it in and out of a car. Then add a 15kg toddler and 7kg baby. If you haven't done the maths, that's pushing around 30kgs plus a heavy baby bag that is packed to the brim with spare clothes, nappies, toys, wipes and anything else I might need to rescue me in an emergency situation.
Also, I'll remind you that I have a two year old. If you want me to explain what that's like, I wish I could turn on web-cam right now to show you what he's doing. He has now given up on TV watching (sadly we don't need to 'time' screen-time for Max because it doesn't last very long) and he's climbing on the chair I'm sitting on muttering the word 'UP' over and over while trying to type on my laptop. In the space of this paragraph, he has since gotten over annoying me and he has gone upstairs to wake his brother who is having a rare sleep in. He still has peanut butter on his face too and I don't know what I'm more concerned about, Lenny or my linen bed-spread.
Yes, I ran upstairs to make sure that there was no damage to either.
Now, Lenny. I don't have too much to complain about here, he's a really good baby. He sleeps, eats and smiles but he also can go from smiling and babbling to pitch-screaming in a matter of seconds... for no apparent reason. My darling Lennox Jude was blessed with a voice and he knows how to use it.
Now one set of lungs is drama enough but the joy of two under two (or thereabouts) is the fact they set each other off and it's suddenly a competition of 'who can scream the loudest to make mum look like a terrible parent?'
Add to that, tantrums and entertaining a toddler plus nappy explosions for which Lennox could win a medal for. The kid takes missing his nappy completely to new heights! If this is him in a nappy, I'm scared to know what toilet training will be like.
Things can be totally fine. You're calm, they're calm and everyone is happy but at any given moment, your world can descend in to anarchy. That's what it's like, going out of the house with two.
So yes, I will still go out today but I'll be bringing nanna along who might pretend she doesn't know me during those crazy moments but will give me moral-support all the same.